Facebook Can Save Someone

There was a girl who was depressed because a breakup with her boyfriend .
Then she was frustrated and tried to commit suicide by ramming herself into a train coming through.
She's Walking Towards the train tracks and standing right on the rail train .
Then from the West, There's a train coming towards her . It was getting closer and closer..
But when the train is 100 meters distance from the girl. Suddenly the girl scream ... . . . . "Oh my God! I Haven't made a status update that I want to kill myself." Then the girl got away from the Rails and go to the internet cafe. There, she met a handsome guy .. the guy asked acquaintances and a few days later they became lovers. she did not commit suicide because of facebook.

Teacher Vs Student

In a classroom, There was a teacher who asked his students.
Teacher : Has anyone ever seen God?
Students : (all students were silent)
Teacher : Has anyone ever heard God?
Students : (all students were silent)
Teacher : Has anyone ever touched god?
Students : (all students were silent)
Teacher : The conclusion is that god does not exist.
(The teacher was happy)

Suddenly, there was a student who didn't accept the teacher's conclusion and replied by asking too:
Students : Has anyone ever seen our teacher's brain?
(all students were silent)
Students : Has anyone ever heard our teacher's brain?
(all students were silent)
Students : Has anyone ever touched our teacher's brain?
(all students were silent)
Students : The conclusion is that our teacher has no brain.
All the students were cheering ...: P

My love is like a mobile phone

One day, a girl asks her boyfriend about how much he loves her.

Girl : dear .... how much do you love me??
Boy : My love for you is like a mobile phone, you are the SIM card! So without you, I don't mean a thing, dear!
Girl : So sweeeett .... hehe ... you can seduce the most, baby!
Boy : (to himself) thank God, she doesn't know that HP made ​​in China has two cards in it.

Hahahhahahaahahahha ..

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Funny Story About Bill and A Bird

Bill was in a hurry to get to his office because he woke up late. Then because he drove very fast, so he accidentally hit a bird in the midst of his way to the office. then he stopped and looked at the bird, it was injured and unconscious. Bill felt sorry and guilty for watching it, so he decided to go home and put the bird in a cage of iron and sprinkle it with water, but the bird was not aware of as well.

The next day, when Bill would go to the office again, he gave the bird a small container of water and a piece of bread in the cage, because he thought that later after the bird came out of unconsciousness, it certainly was very thirsty and hungry. After that, Bill went to work as usual.

When Bill arrived at his office, the bird woke up from fainting. it looked around and saw there was water and a piece of bread. Then once more, it looked around and realized that it was in the iron bars and the bird said to itself while crying. Oh God! Apparently, yesterday I hit a car driver. surely he/ she died, so I'm now in jail. Forgive me Lord! It really happened accidentally.

Passing The Graveyard

Abi and Abu just got back from the airport, to get to the village, they passed a road adjacent to a cemetery area. Their hearts were pounding when passing through the graveyard and in the misty night they heard a knock from the burial ground. They both ventured to find where that voice came from. Slowly they approached the tomb area and they saw an elderly man was knocking on tombstones using an iron hammer. In a somewhat dark atmosphere, the old man determined to carve something on the tombstone.

Sepasang Pengantin Baru dan Gangguan Kesehatan

Suatu hari, ada sepasang pengantin baru yang mengalami gangguan kesehatan. lalu mereka pun memeriksakan diri ke dokter. Setelah diperiksa dengan teliti, dokter pun memberitahukan bahwa penyakit yang diderita itu disebabkan oleh hubungan seks yang terlalu sering.

Sebuah Kunjungan ke Peternakan Sapi

Suatu hari Peserta seminar keluarga harmonis melakukan kunjungan ke suatu Peternakan sapi terkenal di Madura, Seorang pemandu dari Peternakan tersebut memberitahukan bahwa sapi disini sehat-sehat dan kuat-kuat.

Si Pemandu mulai menjelaskan : “Sapi ini sangat kuat, bisa melakukan 5x hubungan intim dalam sehari, sapi ini berasal New Zealand”.

The King and The Royal Horse Guard

Once upon a time there was a king who was having a party at his palace, exactly near a pond in the garden of luxury bathing. besides being very rich, the king is also a bit quirky. Bathing pool filled with a lot of hungry crocodiles.

When the party has begun, the king made ​​an announcement, "All right, I want to make a contest. The first person who dares to swim in this pool from one corner to the other corner, I will give a lot of beautiful jewelry".

Cowboy at an Old City

This is a joke about a thugs cowboy who rode the horse stopped at an old city. Incidentally the old town was inhabited by a former thief. As usual, the cowboy tethered his horse outside the bar, then got into the bar. He ordered a glass of cold beer and drank it until exhausted. Then he went out to continue the journey. unexpectedly, the horse left outside was gone. Of course the cowboy's wrath. He went back inside the bar and yelled.

"Who stole MY HORSE???"

A Beautiful and Sexy Woman Who Fell Off A Magnificent Building

A beautiful and sexy woman fell from the 80th floor of a stately building. Fortunately, in the floor 70, there is an American man arrested.

"Thank you because you have helped me...." said the woman

American man said : "Thank you, too, but you must return the favor "

Because I am The Pilot..!

One morning, a man phoned a taxi company and complain that he had ordered a taxi to take him to the airport, but the taxy had not yet come. The operator who took the call immediately apologized.

"We're Sorry sir if the Taxi you ordered has not come. but don't worry, sir. The plane will be late this morning" Said the operator

the caller said and shouted:

"Of course it will happen this morning, because I am the PILOT.....!!!!!!"

My Mother Told Me that I Shouldn't Go Anywhere

This is a conversation in the classroom before returning to home in a primary school.

The Teacher asks : Children.. Which one of you who want to go to heaven, let's raise your hand..!

All students in the class held up a finger, except Paijo.

The Teacher asks : why are you silent Paijo? Do not you want to go to Paradise or Heaven?

Paijo : Sorry Madam... My mother told me that I should not go anywhere after school.

A Farmer and A Bike Salesman

Someday there's a salesman who was trying to persuade a farmer to buy a bike. The farmer refused, but the salesman would not give up.

"rather than purchasing a bike, I'd better spend my money to buy cows" said the farmer.

"please try to think twice" said the salesman, "you will look foolish when traveling up a cow"

"huhh!" snapped the farmer "would not it be more stupid when people see me blush a bike?"

5 Times a Week

An employee of a company from Indonesia was very excited after getting the news that he was elected to represent his company to participate in a seminar abroad. After arriving at the location of the seminar, the seminar participants were given the sheet by the committee that must be filled about their biodata.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please fill your biographical data for purposes of issuance of the certificate after the seminar is over "Please fill in accordance with your biodata"

Calmly the employees filled the column by column until completed and gave it back. While waiting for other participants some of them who still fill the biographical data sheet, the employees who are curious to try asking to the colleagues next to him who also has finished filling out the sheet:

"What do you fill for sex column?"

Bewildered, the Englishman replied "Of course I fill it with : male, what do you fill in?"

"I fill it with : 5 times a week" the employee said.: D

Sule dan Surti

sule dan surti sepasang pengantin baru,susah senang mrk lalui berdua. pada suatu waktu terjadi dialog antara mereka berdua.

sule : Lagi masak opo dek?

surti : Adek lagi masak Iwak asin, Sayur Asem, tempe goreng, lan sego jagung lho kang mas?

sule : Duh pinternya dek....!!! kang mas jadi makin cinta lho..!!!

surti : (Bahagia Tersipu-sipu) surti gitcu loh...!!

selanjutnya :

sule : ayo kita makan bareng ,dek?....

surti : iya mas,dedeknya nangis mau nenen kali?

sule : (sambil makan) dek sayure kok asin kamu kasih UPIL mu yo?

surti : :( :(

Cerita Lucu Tentang Si Alay

Syukurlah para ALAY dilahirkan zaman skrg. Gmana klo ALAY dilahirkan pas "Pager sedang in".

Alay : Halooow..?

Operator : ya, mau ke nomer pager berapa?

Alay : mbak, tlg ke no pager 30233.

Operator : okey mas, apa isi pesannya?

Alay : aku tunggu kamu.

Operator : (ngetik smbil ngeja) aaakuu.. Tunggu.. Kaammuu...

Alay : hmm.. mbak, tulisan "AKU"-nya pake "aq", ya?

Operator : aq tunggu kamu? Gitu?

Alay : iya dong, oh ya mbak...."tunggu"-nya, duah hruf G-nya pake angka 9 ya, mbak..

Operator : hah? 9? Aq tun99u kamu?

Alay : he'eh.. Oh ya, mbak.. "kamu"-nya pake "Qmu" . terus "tunggu"-nya. T-nya hruf gede, u-nya kecil, N-nya gede, u yg belakang kecil, yya mbaak.!

Operator : HADOOOH. TUOOLOOONG!! PECAT AKUUU,,, PECAT AKUUUU!! SEKARAAANG JUGGGAAA!!!

Anak-Anak Kebanggaan

Suatu hari ada 4 bapak-bapak masuk ke sebuah kedai minuman. Salah satu dari mereka langsung menghampiri pelayan sambil memesan yang mereka inginkan. Sedangkan yang 3 lagi langsung duduk dan membahas anak-anak mereka.

Bapak ke 1 bercerita : "Anak saya Dani, telah cukup lama menjadi tukang kayu, tapi tapi sekarang dia udah sukses dan mempunyai sebuah perusahaan konstruksi sendiri, tahun lalu ia memberi temannya sebuah rumah baru sebagai hadiah".

Lalu Bapak ke 2 berkata : “anak saya D3ni, memulai karirnya sebagai seorang salesman mobil, tapi sekarang di sudah memiliki dealer mobil multi-line. Enam bulan yang lalu dia member temannya dua mobil mewah sebagai hadiah”.

Kemudian Bapak ke 3 bercerita juga : “Anak saya D0ni, telah meniti karier melalui broker saham, dan dalam beberapa minggu yang lalu dia memberi seorang temannya sebuah portofolio saham besar sebagai hadiah”.

Beberapa saat kemudian Bapak ke 4 kembali setelah memesan minuman, lalu ketiga bapak-bapak tadi menceritakan bahwa mereka telah mendiskusikan keturunan mereka dan bertanya kepada bapak ke 4 apakah anaknya cukup membanggakan atau tidak.

Lalu Bapak ke 4 pun bercerita "Sejujurnya, saya sangat tidak suka dengan pekerjaan anakku, selama 15 tahun Dono sudah menjadi penata rambut, dan beberapa hari yang lalu mengetahui bahwa dia Gay juga,. Tapi ada segi positifnya juga, karena tiga pacarnya telah memberinya sebuah rumah baru, dua mobil mewah dan setumpuk sertifikat saham perusahaan besar"